Carol's Psychology

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It’s been way to stressful and way to long to not attend a meeting. Here’s a case where I’m not “eating” my discontentment because there’s simply not time to abuse food. Now I just wig out.

Because of this, I have been pretty much ordered to take tomorrow morning off and not come in till noon. This came down from the head of this whole operation, Dr. Paula. So once again, its 4am, I can’t sleep so I’m doing a little something to make myself sleepy so I can get back to bed.

The one good thing about it this particular morning however is that I have Monkey lying on my arms as I type. He was the one who actually woke me up. I guess he ran out of vittles in the middle of the night and he was on the kitchen counter knocking a box of cat food onto the floor and trying to get into it.

I guess we will call today’s entry, my psychology page. I don’t think it’s all that healthy to work 15 back to back 12 hour days in such stressful conditions. If you know me, taking time off when there is work to be done, isn’t my style. I also have a tendency to make “my” job so important that I can hardly even delegate it.

This is how I set myself up for misery and exhaustion! Not really a good thing to do, and hopefully after all this, I will learn a lesson. I have to leave here on Saturday and I have to have faith that things will roll on without me.

Iben (my savior) from IFAW is trying to help me to see the things that I can affect and the things over which I have no control. As you see in my opening statement, I know that this is true, and my serenity is directly affected by my ability to accept this.

I truly want to help everyone and simply can’t. I want to erase this whole problem of people needing to track their beloved pets all over the country. I want this all to have never happened. This terrible tragedy. This unbelievable loss. But I can’t. I guess I just have to do what I can, feel good in the knowledge that I did all I could, and move on.

We plan to leave on Saturday. I really need to get home and decompress. I think once we pull out of town, I will feel a lot better. I hope so at least.

On a good note, tonight a woman who had believed all three of her dogs perished in a horrible accident (early on in this operation) was indeed alive and well and in the shelter. I won’t go into details about what happened but it was an unfortunate incident and several animals passed away. But this little weiner dog, Taz survived and he was picked up by his mamma last night.

Tomorrow Snooks and Rosco, two cats who I helped the owner find are going to be with him in San Francisco. He is lucky. If not for having put collars around their necks with their names, he would be searching the “found” pet records on petfinder.com for months on end. Unfortunately, what everyone else who lost their pet will have to do if they hope to be reunited.

The San Francisco SPCA will be picking them up and taking them home to be with their daddy. I’m so happy for them all.

Well folks, tomorrow morning Gabby is taking me to IHOP for cheese blintzes and sausages. It was Mom’s favorite meal and I’m going to indulge myself a little.

Besides driving the rig down here for us, and taking care of all its operating systems so we have a comfortable place to live, Gabby is my rock. Without him I would never be able to be here. His love and support through all of this is unparalleled and I count myself one of the luckiest girls in the world to have him by my side.

Wishing you all peace and serenity
Carol